1) You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
2)People call at 9 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
3) No one expects you to run — anywhere.
4) Things you buy now won’t wear out.
5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7) Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
8) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
9) You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
10) You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11) You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13) You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
14) You sing along with elevator music.
15) Your eyes won’t get much worse.
16) Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17) Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
18) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
19) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
20) You might forget to share this list.
